All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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