Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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