Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
