Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
