Already got asked if we're dating
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish life had little blips of pornography
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
