she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
