dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
