One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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