He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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