i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
