okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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