dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
