I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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