Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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