apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
