and you said cock pushups were impossible
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
