I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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