I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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