Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
