Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
