Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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