The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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