You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
