Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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