I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize