Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
