bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
