i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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