I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
