I just saw a hot homeless man
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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