did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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