at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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