I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
