Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
