it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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