Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
and i looked up. we had an audience...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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