I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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