i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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