Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
