Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
