Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
