Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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