k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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