You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
