quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
