you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
