It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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