Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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