i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
