May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
