there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Randomize
